I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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