I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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