I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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