Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize