I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
