Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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