I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
