theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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