Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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