i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
