I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I will be naked everywhere
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
