ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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