TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
