when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
