Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize