You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
