I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
