she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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