the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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