You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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