you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
