I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
