The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
