wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
