Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
