are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
