So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
