Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
