I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
