My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
