one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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