He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
