17 year olds will be the death of me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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