well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
