You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
