I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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