went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
