can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
