I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize