OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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