i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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