we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
