she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
