Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
