i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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