i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
