OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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