i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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