So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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