My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
