I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
