just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize