To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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