Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
