these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
