I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
