It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
