i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
