thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
