the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
